The birth of a poem...

The essence of very tiny detail, like a carefully placed comma, or an invisible sigh of admiration, distilled into dewdrops sliding over the long green leaves that protect tulips from overexposure, redeeming the beautiful bold color and adding a dimension of its own.

Then letting it go into thin air, like a weightless particle,arriving in far-away places, like a carefully thought-out idea, a blissful singular event, a flash of infinitesimal brightness, arriving at noon, completely negating shadows and at the same time completely absolving them.

The reign of calm arrived with these words and it is here to stay...



Thursday, September 4, 2008

Urban Contemplations


This is an old post, from an old blog, I am recycling it, because I like it...
My city, my life, and me.. :)


Urban Contemplations

Once someone told me that my poems are “thoughts wearing gucci”… (I really like this, although I am not sure it’s a compliment.)
Today my thoughts are wearing saffron robes and sandals, as I walk this city, my city…and the sun allows no room for designer labels, only simplicity and humble meditations…
These streets, these bulidings, this river, these bridges, the park, the fortress…my life is inscribed all over the place, a palimpsest of steps and layers from my early schooldays all the way to these lonely days when I still have a lot to learn..
I used to run carefree, from appointment to appointment, from school to English classes, to the poetry club, then home again…
Then a brief visit to the States, and the cultural shock as I came home to find the buildings of Skopje resembling dwarves as compared to the skyscrapers of Minneapolis.
Then on to University, fortifying my knowledge of English, learning patience with eccentric old professors and erratic traffic, discovering the relative meaning of “silence” in our libraries; discovering the unforgettable experience of preparing exams under the pinewood trees in front of the fortress…
Falling in love with poetry forever, falling in love…losing some ideals and losing lots of illusions…
Translating in the whirlwind of conflicts and wars and bombardments in the vicinity, not really knowing what sort of madness is unfolding in the skies, but doing my duty, allowing for communication to flow in the hope that understanding is a part of the steps that bring peace…
Discovering my favourite rock cafĂ©, already a part of me for ten years, on and off, learning a lot about music, falling in love again…spectacular failures..
Surviving another conflict and accepting the reality that the chaos of diversity in Skopje will be our reality, seeing people change over night, but trying to maintain my integrity…
Discovering the peace of the park and the quiet flow of the river Vardar and the breath taking views of mount Vodno, allowing for meditations, focus and mindfulness…
My occupation recently tied me up to this pc, and I have been neglecting my city…reading the accounts of travellers from the 19c to the present days who have discovered this city fills me with a mix of pride and humility.
Sometimes it takes a stranger, an eye of an observant outsider to make me open my eyes and see new layers of this city, from a different perspective and fall for it again, and shut the pc down and go explore, a labyrinth of memories subconsciously left as traces…
This is the city of solidarity, after all, destroyed by an earthquake more than 40 years ago, rebuilt by the world, a pastiche of the greatest architects’ projects and “temporary shelter bulidings” that stand to this day, and the clock of the old railway station stuck at the time of the quake…
Skopje, the birthplace of Mother Teresa, (not many people know that!)- this is where she made her first steps…
Now as I pass by her monument, I try to be grateful, and I remember again, I still have a lot to learn…
Not pride, though. Like a good girl from the Balkans, it’s instilled in me, it runs through my veins and it is not something I can easily articulate, but it is there, as firm as the ground beneath my feet and as far from the virtual world that has kept my eyes closed for a while…
I belong in the real world, living poetry…and although I will always be virtually yours,
If you need me, this is where you can find me